nishlo:

tukut:

ur mom hands u a glass of orange juice. u take a sip. its not orange juice. its stirred egg yolks. u spit them all out. u ask ur mom why. she turns around. its not ur mom. its me. ur mom is gone. im ur mother now

these old spice commercials have been getting really crazy lately 

(via confusedberrypie)

abbeyisacartoonfreak:

helioscentrifuge:

justyouraveragehaggis:

beckyhop:

zftw:

we need to talk about that house loan

It’s gonna cost you a leg. Specifically, that guy’s prosthetic leg.
I need it.

I also need that guy’s eye.

okay what fucking fandom does a guy lose his prosthetic leg and his eye?

nobody tell him

Ah, okay! Just… Just hold still! Very serious.
how to win a fight in anime

attack-on-ackerman:

1. fight rly hard

2. get the shit beat out of u and fall on the ground

3. get up slowly with blood dripping from ur mouth

4. crack a smile and say something about friends and not giving up

5. win. thats it u will automatically win after following steps 1-4

(via fuzzykitty01)

mal0cchi0:

kind of hate how capitalism has trained me to believe that having free time is a bad thing and that i need to be constantly doing something to make my existence worth anything

(via lenariin)

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